Sweetie has been gone for two long weeks. Before she left, we had several conversations about how I could keep on task, how I could continue to function in an optimal manner, without her calming and centering influence. Seriously, I know I'm an adult, but my ADD-tendencies keep me from being an effective human much of the time. Sweetie performs a helpful role in gently guiding me when I get off track.
(And without diminishing my free will to ignore or modify any incoming information and behave as I wish. That way, if I go afield, I am fully aware of the fact that I am working without a net on purpose.)
So, on Day 1, I started making lists of all the things I would need to do, all the projects and activities I don't tend to do when my partner is around (like square dancing! or the "secret" hand-quilting project that overtakes the bed), all the possible flight-of-fancy things that I consider when I have unscheduled time, all the this... all the that...
This list got to be 3 pages long! It was overwhelming. I kept looking at it, I kept obsessing over it, I kept adding to it(!) and I kept being paralyzed with the thought
What should I be doing right now?!I could not choose. I could not function. Thank goodness I had the requirement to go to work each day and plan lessons for my students, because I might have dissolved into a complete puddle.
On Day 3, I threw out my list, and simplified everything down to a four-item memory jog.
That I wrote on the bathroom mirror, where I would see it many times a day.
- backlog (anti-procrastination, a la FlyLady)
- love yourself!
Sweetie gets back today. (Which just shows how much procrastination I succumbed to--meant to put this post up about 10 days ago.) I was not perfect. Never gonna be perfect. But I'm still a loving, wonderful, creative human being who enjoys life more often than not.
The dogs got fed. The carpets got vacuumed. And no one is the worse for the wear.